Rain
by Shameful Joy
Summary: "The medics told her she would die, they told us she would not survive much past your birth and they were right. She loved you too much already. She-" he chokes on a sob, and continues with a ragged sigh, "always loved you so much..."


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**Rain**

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A golden haired man is softly gasping in a dim candle lit room of one of Konoha's shinobi buildings. In his arms, a golden haired child mewls and kicks, watching the man above him with rapt attention. Outside, the shinobi of the leaf gather and their spirits join in worry for their nin-brother. Precious few save his predecessor, The Third, know what the outcome of the night will be. He always wishes he could ease their suffering, but this time he cannot. He looks up look out the open window, and starlight glints off tears that are jerkily rolling down his scratched and bloodstained cheeks. He has been in the fight of his life, and he knows it.

"Wait…," he whispers desperately, speaking in vain to Death.

He looks down at the baby, fresh blood still drying on the seal, and cannot help but feel sadness cover him like water. "My happy child, your mother called you, long before you were born…" he tells the child. "Will you ever know how much she loved you? How much joy she found in you? You don't know this, but it has been a time of very little happiness lately, and no one smiles. But while you were coming along, she was always happy. She said it was you, that you were so happy that she couldn't help but feel your joy. She laughed with joy when you were born and she first saw you."

He lies back against the wall, gasping with effort and carefully adjusts the infant. "She wasn't supposed to have you, you know. The medics told her she would die, they told us she would not survive much past your birth and they were right. She loved you too much already, she said. She-" he chokes on a sob, and continues with a ragged sigh, "always loved you so much… How will you ever know? Who will tell you that your mother knew you would be a golden child, that she was convinced that you would be a happy baby and that she wanted nothing more than to give you the world?"

His voice falls softer, and he grows weaker with each minute the effects of the battle and the cost of the seal weighing on him. The baby stares up at him with eyes the same vivid cyan shade as his. He has always felt confident about the decisions he has made to protect his home, until this one. When he looks into the strange mirror of his own image that rests in his arms, he can feel his heart tighten and clench and his eyes burn with tears, he can feel regret pull on his soul. He has lost what any parent would give their soul to get back. His heart feels as though it were caught in a grip of searing heat, as he regrets not being able to live to watch his son grow, regrets that he is the Fire Shadow and always puts the village first in all things.

"I cursed you with a demon's power to protect you in my absence. Will you ever understand that this was not only to save Konoha, but also to save you? Who will raise you now that I have made you an orphan? Who will love you when I am gone?" He looks up at the night sky, tear tracks stark against the blood on his face. The infant coos calling the young man's attention. The baby boy's bright blue eyes are shining and his whole face is curled in to a warm smile, whisker marks and all. The young leaf–nin leader feels himself warming as his son smiles at him. The sadness ebbs into a warm tide lapping at him. He takes in a deep ragged breath and continues speaking to the tiny child.

"I cannot ease the suffering of my shinobi, little one, but you ease mine. Your smile now is proof, to me, that your heart will know your mother loved you, even when your mind cannot recall. You will not wonder over that, your infant heart has known love and it will stay with you throughout your life. "Konoha will raise you and they will love you, eventually. Although we both know, that you will have to prove yourself many times over to be the son of a great protector rather than the incarnation of a monster. There will be people in your life that will accept you with out question; my mentors, the Third and Jiraya, and there will be those who will come to love you after seeing you prove your warmth. Your life will not be easy, but it will be full and it will be a good life. One day, you will have the same love of Konoha as I do, Naruto. Your blood is my blood, a Hokage's blood, a love of this place flows in it and that love will blossom as you grow. This blood is my gift to you, Naruto, the will to protect and the strength to do so."

He kisses his infant son, smiling as he silently leaves The Hidden Village of the Leaf and its future Hokage behind.

It was the soft whimpering of a baby that caused The Third to enter the room. He held up his hand to the surrounding shinobi, motioning for them to stay. He knew what he would find; the feeling had been with him all day. What he had not realized was that Yondaime would sacrifice his son. Only the Third and less than a handful of others even knew that Yondaime's son had even been born. The less everyone knew the better, which was how the Fourth had asked for it. The Third knelt to pick up the tearful baby, and wrapped him in the blanket his mother had lovingly embroidered with spiral shapes and suns. He laid the Fourth out on the bed and walked out to the gathered shinobi. He looked in to their anxious and worried faces and said, "The fourth has fallen, Yondaime is dead."

Rain poured down the next day as the new laws set down by Yondaime about the sealed boy were laid out and the memorial went on. The Third despaired as he saw that the people could only see Yondaime's death and the demon fox that had taken him when they looked at this orphaned child. Then he heard something soft and small underneath the constant patter of the rain, an infant's laugh. The cold rain seemed for a moment a little warmer, a little like a parent's tears.


End file.
